organizing the empties. That sober.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
