"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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