I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
