It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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