My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Randomize
