Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
