The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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