So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
