wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
