I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Everclear isn't food dammit
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
