; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
