were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
My pussy is not your playground.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
