bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
