conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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