Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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