I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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