I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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