I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
