Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
