he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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