found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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