Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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