Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
