that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
