Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
