my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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