did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Randomize