i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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