I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
