so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
