went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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