:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
