what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
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