Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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