Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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