I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize