are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I pour the whiskey from now on
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
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