Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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