Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
