Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
