Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
