People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Randomize
