I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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