i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Randomize
