Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize