I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
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