hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize