he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
