I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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