Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
