That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
