maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
