WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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