i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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