do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
