Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
