i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I wear drunk well.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
