I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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