Apparently you make a good broom.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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