It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
