Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Someone came in the potted fern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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