8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
