I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
