CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
