Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
