She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
