i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
