he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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