Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
