He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
